Is there a better place than this to run a marathon?
Whenever school holiday times come around, one of two things happen every week night in our household. Either my wife and I do paper, rock, scissors to decide who is going to skip work the next day to entertain our two boys aged 8 and 6. Or we do paper, rock, scissors to decide which of our parents we are going to burden the next day to do the same.
This time, however, we decided to both skip work and entertain the kids up on the Gold Coast of Australia. For those who don’t know, Gold Coast is essentially a stretch of beachside towns in Queensland, about an hour’s flight from Sydney. It is where high school kids go to binge-drink in gaudy bars, small kids go to run amok in theme parks and 41 year-old fathers go to ogle at bikini-clad ladies. Continue reading
This one is called Leap of Faith or, as this fella will soon find out, Plunge into Abyss!!!
I arrived at the first obstacle.
What greeted me was one big pool of dense, black mud with a giant fishing net hanging low above it, leaving just enough room for people to crawl underneath. So I did, on all fours at first, then completely on my front, worming across with my face just half an inch above the slimy bog. Unfortunately, the attempt to keep my face clean was thwarted by the person in front of me whose wiggling motion was spraying the black stuff all over my head. When I finally emerged from the crawl, I felt like the Tim Robbins character from Shawshank Redemption when he escaped from the prison. But instead of covered in human shit with little bit of mud mixed in, I was covered in mud with a little bit of cow shit mixed in.
And that was how my inaugural Tough Mudder race began two weeks ago, on a windy, cloudy Sunday, somewhere between Timbuktu and Wherethefuck, 2 hours outside of Sydney, surrounded by trees, bush, mud and more mud. Continue reading
And if you feel these while NOT exercising, then you’re up the shit-creek without a paddle!
I hardly ever get sick.
It is a trait that I am very proud of, and also a curse that makes me irrationally intolerant of people who fall ill frequently. And they have been dropping like flies all around me this winter flu season in Sydney, one of the worst in recent memory. Everywhere I turned, there were people coughing in my face, sniffling around my space or sneezing all over the place. And that’s just at home! Dealing with sick people at work and in the public? Forgetaboutit!!! Continue reading
What can a slack runner say in response to that?
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been a whole month since my last run.
Go on, my son.
For some reason, I have a real bad case of the guilt. Which is funny, because I have never promised to run for anyone, nor does my lack of running adversely impact anyone.
But I take it you run for yourself. Perhaps that explains the feeling of guilt, my son … that somehow you are letting yourself down. That’s perfectly understandable, especially given how much energy your have expended into this particular hobby in recent years. Continue reading
2 weeks ago, I ran a half marathon.
I finished in 98 minutes, more than 5 minutes off my Personal Best.
I had mixed emotions at the end of the race.
On the one hand, I was satisfied with the run, especially after the confidence-sapping efforts of my last race – a marathon in which I walked the last 6-7 km due to severe cramping. Continue reading