Parenting Quotes

Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers“. Lewis Mumford.

A child, like your stomach, doesn’t need all you can afford to give it“. Frank A. Clark.

You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once“. Polish Proverb.

No matter how hard you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behaviour and I’m not talking about the kids“. Bill Crosby.

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up“. Phyllis Diller.

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television“. Erma Bombeck.

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy“. Anonymous.

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong“. Charles Wadsworth.

I used to believe my father about everything but then I had children myself & now I see how much stuff you make up just to keep yourself from going crazy“. Brian Andreas.

No one is ever quite ready; everyone is always caught off guard. Parenthood chooses you. And you open your eyes, look at what you’ve got, say “Oh, my gosh,” and recognize that of all the balls there ever were, this is the one you should not drop. It’s not a question of choice“. Marisa de los Santos.

But kids don’t stay with you if you do it right. It’s the one job where, the better you are, the more surely you won’t be needed in the long run“. Barbara Kingsolver.

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them“. James Baldwin.

It’s impossible to protect your kids against disappointment in life“. Nicholas Sparks.

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children’“. Susan Savannah

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents“. John J. Plomp.

Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected“. Red Buttons.

There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you“. Peter De Vries.

A person soon learns how little he knows when a child begins to ask questions“. Richard L. Evans

Your kids are your parents’ ultimate revenge“. Anonymous.

You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around- and why his parents will always wave back“. William D. Tammeuson.

It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t“. Barbara Kingsolver

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge“. Phyllis Diller

Parenthood:  That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage“. Marcelene Cox

If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked“. George Carlin

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up“. Ray Romano.

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain“. Martin Mull.

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable“. Lane Olinghouse.

The guys who fear becoming fathers don’t understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man.  The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent“. Frank Pittman.

Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age“. William Feather.

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