Fuzzy resolutions

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions.

Of course, I understand that, without this construct, gyms would go broke in no time, tobacco companies would soak in more profits and healthy-eating zealots would choke on their celery sticks.

The mythical day when all good things will start

The mythical day when all good things will start

For me, however, I simply know myself too well. Too well to be deceived into thinking that my resolve to do something will suddenly be iron-clad, just because the calendar flicks over from December to January. If there are things I should be doing but I need to draw cosmic strength from the New Year to start doing them, then I suspect they are either not particularly important, or are so important and yet so difficult (for whatever reasons) that calendar-flicking is just one of many excuses I resort to to postpone real action.

Instead of looking forward to what I should do, I tend to do look back at this time of the season to what I have done over the past year. Unfortunately, the outcome of that reflection this time is not pretty. I don’t feel as if I have achieved anything of substance, except add another year to my age. I am no richer, whether in wealth or knowledge. I am no wiser, whether with respect to parenting or marriage. And I am certainly no better, whether as a person or a friend.

Then …

… I look at my two wonderful and growing boys, gaze at my ever-supportive wife, and marvel at how we all managed to pull through the trials and tribulations of another year, all fit and healthy.

… I relive all the wonderfully rewarding races that I participated in (including my maiden marathon) and the numerous solo runs that I was fortunate enough to have clocked up this year.

… And I reflect on this Blog site that I established, created with ramblings thought up inside my very own head, and actually read by people other than myself.

I guess that’s why some people may rightfully accuse yours truly of being ungrateful. Rather than focusing on the achievements and good fortunes bestowed upon me, I dwell on the disappointments and mishaps befallen me. Instead of being thankful for the glass being half full, I bitch and moan about why the other half is empty.

Perhaps gratitude is something that I should express more often this year. Maybe that can be my New Year’s resolution in 2013! Or maybe, just maybe, this is just a grandiose thought conjured up amidst the reflective mood on the first day of the New Year and likely forgotten by the 30th, when the pressures of parenting, marriage and life return at full throttle.

Who knows? But I think I’m starting to understand this whole New Year’s resolutions phenomenon. If nothing else, it at least keeps afloat the gym industry, temporarily retard the growth of tobacco companies and force people to be more health-minded, even if only briefly. And that’s got a be a good thing!

Keep on pounding.

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