Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Start Worrying about my Weight

Yes, Jogging Dad, I'm talking to you!!!

Yes, Jogging Dad, I’m talking to you!!!

Last week, I went for my annual health check up.

My doctor pointed out that it is not really an annual check up when the last time I saw him was four years ago.

I tried to explain that I am an extremely important man, with an always-packed calendar, and certainly too busy saving the world to attend to trivial matters such as my health.

Unfortunately, the doctor started fiddling with the computer keyboard … tap, tap, tap … and brought up my medical record. Continue reading

A Tough Mudder Recap from one Mean Mudder Tougher

This one is called Leap of Faith, or more commonly known as Plunge into Abyss!!!

This one is called Leap of Faith or, as this fella will soon find out, Plunge into Abyss!!!

I arrived at the first obstacle.

What greeted me was one big pool of dense, black mud with a giant fishing net hanging low above it, leaving just enough room for people to crawl underneath. So I did, on all fours at first, then completely on my front, worming across with my face just half an inch above the slimy bog. Unfortunately, the attempt to keep my face clean was thwarted by the person in front of me whose wiggling motion was spraying the black stuff all over my head. When I finally emerged from the crawl, I felt like the Tim Robbins character from Shawshank Redemption when he escaped from the prison. But instead of covered in human shit with little bit of mud mixed in, I was covered in mud with a little bit of cow shit mixed in.

And that was how my inaugural Tough Mudder race began two weeks ago, on a windy, cloudy Sunday, somewhere between Timbuktu and Wherethefuck, 2 hours outside of Sydney, surrounded by trees, bush, mud and more mud. Continue reading

The Breakfast Club

The Boys Club

Boyz n the Mood

Every Saturday, I take my two boys out to breakfast at a nearby café. It has been our ‘Boys Club’ ritual ever since they were both able to walk without me having to carry them halfway, and I was able to talk without them having to ask where mummy is.

Indeed, their mummy enjoys this ritual possibly more than we do, as it gives her an opportunity to sleep in on Saturdays. This is hardly surprising after five arduous mornings of getting the two cranky little boys ready for school before she goes off to work herself in a cranky mood. Continue reading

A fine line between pleasure and pain

And if you feel these while NOT exercising, then you're up the shit-creek without a paddle!

And if you feel these while NOT exercising, then you’re up the shit-creek without a paddle!

I hardly ever get sick.

It is a trait that I am very proud of, and also a curse that makes me irrationally intolerant of people who fall ill frequently. And they have been dropping like flies all around me this winter flu season in Sydney, one of the worst in recent memory. Everywhere I turned, there were people coughing in my face, sniffling around my space or sneezing all over the place. And that’s just at home! Dealing with sick people at work and in the public? Forgetaboutit!!! Continue reading

No kidding

They certainly will ... you can your ass on it!!!
They certainly will … you can bet your ass on it!!!

When I am driving, I often look in the rear mirror and see my two little sons, aged 7 and 5, staring back at me from the back seat with their irrepressible cheeky grins. And every now and then, I would lean slightly toward my wife on the passenger side and whisper: “Honey, you notice those two boys back there? Who are they and where did they come from?

It is one of the many running jokes between us since we have become parents. Indeed, I often find it incredulous that we have children, given that my wife and I still behave like ditzy teenagers who probably wouldn’t get a job as babysitters if our lives depended on it. Continue reading